Nerd Test

Nerd Test

Must Read, so good.
Must Read, so good.

1. Chinese girls do not have _____ ____.
2. What is an R.O.U.S.?
3. I think you weigh a little more than ___.
4. I, I, I, I, I, I, I-I, I-I-I, I….. ___ ___ ___ please.
5. Sword of Omens, give me _____ ______ _____
6. There is no _____.
7. (Sound it out) Eeyahtey Eeyahtay ________.

Kitten, Refrigerator Door, Joy

Today’s writing will be in the style of a shock jock local radio Deejay.

So, on this morning after I wiped the snot out of my eyes, I got up, Morning wood everybody, and started getting ready for work. Steve-O over there on the controls, that dude gets up early, rules of his Mom’s house, in fact he probably gets up three hours before work to brush his teeth twice, run a mile because he’s training for a triathlon in Phoenix next month, floss, clip his nails ( He refuses to get manicures, which is surprising because he looks like he was born and raised in a nail salon…the guy is so uptight I’m betting he had his sphincter surgically removed and he just uses a colostomy bag ). Me, I’m up an hour before work, which is good for me. I’m an animal, I don’t need to shave and brush my teeth daily. My teeth are strong pillars of tartar and smoke.
Anyways, I stagger, flip, somersault myself into the kitchen, I don’t know how I got there because I’m not even awake until I start driving to work and that search for coffee has begun. Steve-O drinks no caffeine I believe, him and Karen the Wednesday Workout Ninja are juicing buddies I believe. I had to make lunch today, I have a ton of leftover bbq chicken from Monday’s Dollars for Diabetes event, the Double D thing we have every year. I get all the stuff, Mayonnaise, Chicken, Bread, Red Sirracha Sauce, some garlic and I start making my sandwiches. I had one the other day, it was like Thanksgiving leftovers. It was like the American Flag was shitting hamburgers, watermelon and baseball in my mouth, that good. That’s good.
So I’m putting the condiments away in the fridge. As I close the door, I don’t notice my kitten has poked her little furry head in between the open door and the interior of the fridge. I have already begun the closing of the door, it is swinging closed, y’know I like to give the door a measured push and let the momentum close it. I’m very precise, it’s a good sturdy push but not strong enough to knock the ketchup and marinated artichoke hearts off the side racks. Anyways I’ve pushed the door, and the kitties head was right against the door, so what ensues is a good second of the door pushing the kitten along by the head, because she has tensed or something so she is allowing the door to move her entire body, she really wants to see inside the fridge. She is in the family, she knows where the food comes from, and the kitten eats French fries and tomato sauce, and caffeine, unlike Steve-O. It was like watching a glass fall off the counter from that point. I knew the end result would be the door closing I just wasn’t expecting the cat to never move, have some sense of self-preservation! But, alas the door closed quite nicely on the kitten’s head. Smoosh, the kitten’s head got sandwiched between the door and the fridge pretty gently, so I cracked up. I didn’t really see the whole thing until that moment when the door almost closed, bounced off the kitten’s head and started swinging open again.
I’m not for cruelty for animals, Shit, our station K101.4 the Fox, we have two fundraisers a year for the Humane Society, I own two dogs and three cats. But I could watch dumb animals all day long. Holy crap, it made my morning, in fact I skipped my morning crap, nah I took care of business, like Mussolini’s trains I tell ya I’m regular. I gotta say, I really enjoyed closing the refrigerator door on my kitten’s head…just thought I’d pass that along before we go to Reanna with the traffic.

Chris Pratt Hosting SNL, please make the following happen…

ffffeeeeeehttp://splitsider.com/2014/09/bill-murray-sarah-silverman-and-chris-pratt-rumored-to-be-snls-first-three-hosts/

Please do a Christopher Cross skit…I don’t know, I can’t explain, I just think, I mean have you seen Christopher (football jersey wearing, voice like an angel), it’s all there. They’re both musicians who play their guitars. There you have it. Do it. Spread the word.

Chris has lost considerable weight, but put it back on…and yeah, Christopher Cross baby.

Missing Sequel? That’s Easy. How about SEQUELS?! Imagine the Three Amigos Trilogy

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/missing-seqeuls/

amigosThis topic is a no brainer; I’ve already brainstormed the sequel to the 1986 whimsical farce. Imagine, perhaps ten years have passed since the amigos defended the city of Santo Poco utilizing tactics from their movie, “ Amigos, Amigos, Amigos.” The Amigos have gone their separate ways. Lucky, a happily married sheriff, who’s longing for home is exemplified in the overly American-themed décor of his home and family. He is of course oblivious to his desire to see his former home.
Dusty Bottoms also yearns for home. We find him fishing off the coast in a small paddle boat. In a dismal storm he lands a giant Marlin, the beauty of which brings him to tears. As sharks swarm and devour his catch, he cries skyward, “I just want to go home!” (Or something like that.)
While it looks…bleak (?) for Dusty, Ned has been flourishing in Mexico. He has been defending the poor and wretched for years as the masked bandit, El Azul N. A vigilante and wealthy landowner, Ned has been anonymously fighting the likes of would be El Guapos. His anonymity is in question, however, due to his incredibly recognizable Caucasian skin and facial profile. He too longs for home; he has not wed, and desperately yearns for a family. In fact there are many rumors questioning the Azul N’s …masculinity.
The three Amigos reunite, only to run into Prohibition runners who have overrun a peaceful border town, and are shipping high quality Tequila to the dry states of America. The Amigos are forced into action again in order to defend justice.
No working title. (Sorry)

However the title to the third installment, a romp through time that has the amigos transported to the future, is now complete: The Three Amigos, Amigos In Time…

A List and points of reference, food combos

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/unlikely-pairing/
drink-for-gout

Unlikely Pairing

Bacon and chocolate, caramel and cheddar… Is there an unorthodox food pairing you really enjoy? Share with us the weirdest combo you’re willing to admit that you like — and how you discovered it.

 

In response to this daily prompt; I will provide a list of the food pairings I enjoy
I have no trouble mentioning that I am Chinese/Spanish-Italian. My current favorite food or cuisine is probably Pho, Lao Jerky, and Broiled steak like they do at Ruth Chris, but not Ruth Chris because it costs too much, and tastes better at home anyways.

The List:
1. Orange juice and milk. The ratio should be 75/25 OJ. (not enough of either in fridge one day..)
2. Soy sauce, pepper, and red vinegar for dippin’ chicken.(My older cousins, from Mom’s side, made this)
3. Frosted Flakes and OJ. (again, lack of ingredients prompted this)
4. (This one I think is common, but again I think race is a factor) Egg in ramen noodles, or rice in ramen, or salsa, ground beef, or cilantro (about high school started hanging with Japanese folks)
5. Salsa and French fries (430am breakfast)
6. I actually eat the red stuff, canned cranberries, at Thanksgiving (I hated seeing uneaten food)
7. Peas and mayonnaise with red onions(Grandma’s recipe)