Bad artwork caption free for all


“Awww, I’m just a bashful widdle wobot.”


Scene from a Parked Car

Scenes from a Parked Car


By Rob Hing

Scene: Interior of a parked ’53 Chevy.  Dimly lit.  Five men sit, obscured by shadow.  Marvin (offscreen).”Lorenzo, hit it.”

Marvin extends his hand to Lorenzo. Closeup of hand and smoking joint as he passes it from rear driver’s side seat to Lorenzo in the driver’s seat.

Lorenzo, still obscured by darkness. turns slightly and takes the joint.

Lorenzo, large permed hair and all, turns back straight ahead and takes a puff.  He exhales slowly and hands it to his right.  The passenger looks slightly over and graciously accepts the joint before puffing.

Scene is clearly the interior of a ’53 Chevy.  The camera focuses on the man in the rear driver’s side seat..

He is wearing a light blue tuxedo suit, and he is watching the passenger take his drag thoughtfully.

Marvin: ” It’s pretty good shit, right?  I told you my hook up was right on.”

The sax man nods as he inhales and then passes back to the bass player behind him.

Marvin looks over to Bass player, then continues: ” I found this guy through my cousin- ”

Lorenzo turns and cuts him off: “Oh Ch-” (he begins questioningly)

Marvin puts a smooth hand on Lorenzo’s shoulder: “No brother, you don’t know him.” His eyes say shhhh.

The bass player exhales and hands the joint back to Marvin.

The short man in the middle seat exhales.

Short man: ” Yeah, but what were you crying about a second ago? ”

Marvin accepts the joint and gives the short man a contemptuous look: “I wasn’t crying about nothing.  I’m trying to teach you about the business, and I was telling you about why these gigs wreck my nerves.” He inhales deeply..coughing a bit as he hands the joint to Lorenzo.

Lorenzo: ” Aw man, these peckerwood kids are as quiet as mice… This gig is no sweat.  We come, we play, we go home and smoke some grass.” Lorenzo looks satisfies and motions for Marvin to pass the joint.

Marvin:  “That’s the thing. ” Marvin eyes Reggie in contempt. ” That is the thing.”The camera zooms in on him. He takes an extra pull from the joint.  Eyeing Reggie as he hands the joint to him.  ” These kids don’t hear us, brother.  They are out here in their starched clothes trying to kiss Miss. Poodle skirt and Mr. Penny loafers.  They don’t hear our music.  We would get more appreciation if we were playing to a crowd of deaf people. ”

Unseen sax player in the back seat: ” Deaf people would have more rhythm. ”

The men (except Marvin) snort and chuckle.

Lorenzo looks back to them:  ” I can hear those boys counting steps out on the dance-floor.  It’s messing up my timing!”

Marvin:  “Shit, I asked the boys what tunes they liked, and they said Mickey and Minnie mouse!”

The car erupts in laughter.

Marvin receives the joint as it returns in the order of the rotation:  “Man they wouldn’t know what key-”

A loud thud is heard, followed by the slamming of the trunk.

Lorenzo is seen peering out the rear window.

Marvin watches as Lorenzo opens his door off camera.  He follows Lorenzo as he turns towards the trunk.

Lorenzo is seen through the rear driver’s side window.

Lorenzo: ” Tha’ hell are you doin’ to my car?!”

All four men can be seen briefly in the car.

White boy off camera: ” Hey beat it spook, this don’t concern you!”

All the men open a door and emerge from the car.  From the now empty car interior Marvin speaks.

Marvin: “Who you calling, Spook, Peckerwood?”


End scene

Adam Sandler Movie Quote Matchup

Adam Sandler Movie Quote Matchup

This post always gets views for some reason.

Warlock, the Techno-Alien

Adam Sandler Movie Match
Write the letter of the correct match next to each problem.
1. I thought we were watching Scooby Doo. a. Big Daddy
2. It’s a tie. That guy doesn’t count. He can’t even read. b. Little Nicky
3. You probably don’t remember me but I went to high school with you. And I, um, kinda gave you a hard time back then, and, uh, I did some things I thought were funny at the time, and realized they were just mean and stupid. And I just called to apologize and hope you forgive me. c. Happy Gilmore
4. Want me to wipe the leaves on your ficus tree…Pres…tone? d. The Wedding Singer
5. Left! Left! No, Left! e. Big Daddy
6. Hey, Peanut Butter Cups! f. Mr. Deeds
7. We win! Group hug in the shower tonight!… or not. Or not. g. Billy Madison

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Movie Acro-quote challenge 1

Movie Acro-quote challenge 1

Can you decipher the famous movie quote? The movie each corresponds too is listed below.

















Movie quote acronym challenge- STAR WARS, taxi driver, Terminator, T2, Star Wars (all of them), Aladdin, The Wizard of Oz, Star Wars, Star Wars, Happy Gilmore, Top Gun, The Sandlot, Field of Dreams


Fragrance of…would smell like


Adam Sandler- Bologna, hotdogs, and farts.

Andy Samberg- the same but with a hint of puke, and other secretions.

Russell Crowe- Grease, Kangaroo, and Beer soaked beard.

Harrison Ford- Chewbacca

Chewbacca- Samwell Tarly (seriously)

Angelina Jolie- Tea tree oil and old photographs

Sylvester Stallone- Turpentine, gunpowder, and spaghetti

Danny Devito- Wet dog, old orange soda, and a filet-o-fish

Jessica Alba- Every different fruit blended, subtly, and Irish Spring soap.

Lebron James- Tears and testosterone

Kevin James- Tears and mashed potatoes with gravy

James Worthy- Championship rings

Keanu Reeves- Eunagi, gunpowder, and incense

Michael Keegan- Chainwax and crispy socks

John Goodman- a wet football, deflated.

Kristen Bell- Idk. Milk and cookies?

Michael Keaton- Batman

Mark Hamill- Throat lozenges, Bactine, and old spice

Emily Blunt- Refrigerated eggs

Tom Cruise- Swamp water, fire, and blood. Interview With The Vampire, was a pretty good movie.

The Night of Devouring…part 1

“A beetle may or may not be inferior to a man – the matter awaits demonstration…”

‘Click’, ‘Click’, ‘Click’.
Oscar Dedmon clipped his nails over the rails of his front porch. Three clips a nail. The excised white clippings could freely spiral into the unkempt foliage below. Discarded nails would cover the brown leaves lying beneath the large bush of unknown phenotype. Other nails would boomerang away and return to the brick base of the porch railing. Some would be caught on the web covered leaves of the shrubs.
Over the years, many lonely years, the whole area below the porch appeared to be a hazy gray. Millions of nails littered the leaves, the ground, and the bricks. The freshest nails, upon closer inspection, could be seen stark white in comparison to the aging brown and gray counterparts. Some shards were actually hanging suspended in air, actually hanging from small unused spider webs. Some were being consumed.
The dense bush created a cool shaded damp area. Beneath the soil and rocks, and broken branches was a vast society of beetles, earwigs, and centipedes. The earth beneath the porch was teeming with shiny black bodies. Passersby would inevitably stop as their eyes would be caught by hundreds of overturned twigs, really beetles scurrying over in search of food. Often the bugs would find nourishment on the discarded dead skin of Oscar Dedmon.
Oscar was actually delighted by this behavior. He enjoyed watching the beetles carry away moldy nails, presumably to some underground burrow. He imagined the beetles and ants took the shards away and cultivated some sort of nutritional bacteria from them. Sometimes an earwig would munch away on a hangnail, or a centipede. This was his guiltless passion.